Suite Success

The Psychologist from The Apprentice Reveals What It Really Takes to Excel—in the Boardroom and in Life

Suite Success

Author: Liza Siegel, Ph.D.
Pub Date: 2007
Your Price: $24.95
ISBN: 0814473601
Format: Hardcover

 


Chapter 1
The Power of Staying Positive

How we choose what we do, and how we approach it, will determine whether the sum of our days adds up to a formless blur or to something resembling a work of art.

—MIHALY CSIKSZENTMIHALYI, professor of psychology and management at the Peter Drucker School of Business at Claremont University and author of Finding Flow and other books on happiness and creativity

IT IS NO SECRET that we spend a lion's share of our time and energy on work. For some, work is a means to an end-a way to bring home a paycheck-but for most of us, work is where we look to find happiness and give meaning to life. So it's natural that we would want to learn as much as possible about how to make our work more satisfying.

Today's business leaders seek more guidance in the form of training, seminars, business books, and coaching than ever before. Despite all of the information available, and although many wear the role of leadership with a tailored good fit, there are still those who lag behind, slightly disheveled and pulling at the seams. Regardless of our position in business, we have a natural curiosity about what it takes to excel. Theories abound, but one of the most basic questions involves the old "nature versus nurture" debate. Obviously, some people are naturally gifted with innate leadership ability, but higher education certainly also contributes its fair share to the talent.

When the producers of the first Apprentice-a reality television show about competing for an apprenticeship with Donald Trump-began constructing a story line, they wanted to know just that: Who would be the winner? Which applicant would have what it takes to stand out in a crowd-the Harvard MBA or the scrapper with natural-born "street smarts"? What creates an excellent leader? Is leadership an inborn quality, is it acquired through education and training, or is it both?

What creates an excellent leader? Is leadership an inborn quality, is it acquired through education and training, or is it both?

As the first season unfolded, the person with the highest level of education was the first person fired, and the least educated of the bunch made it to the final five. In this case, art imitated life and reality television reflected some real facts about good leadership. As the candidates showed, what has been called "street smarts" is really a blend of charm, social savvy, determination, and persistence. Education also played an important part in many of the candidates' successes up to a point, but without the important "street smart" qualities just mentioned, it isn't sufficient to make a great leader.

There are a few key positive emotions and positive qualities such as optimism and persistence that account for a great deal more in business success than skill, education, and, to some degree, even talent; on the show we witnessed this in many ways as each episode aired. These positive qualities and personality traits make the difference between being tossed about by rough corporate waters or navigating a smooth course through turbulent times. Key traits like optimism, resilience, and emotional awareness are the navigational tools that steer the best leaders through even the fiercest storms. Cultivating these positive qualities does more than just alleviate work stress; when you're in a positive frame of mind you actually think in more productive and creative ways.1

Having resilience and an optimistic outlook creates subtle differences in the way exceptional leaders respond to both challenges and opportunities alike. This way of thinking builds strength by focusing on what is best in a situation and by downplaying obstacles. The practice and habit of adopting an optimistic outlook helps develop the core strengths of vision, resolve, and charisma-the three legs of the footstool that is the foundation on which excellent leadership is built.

Key traits like optimism, resilience, and emotional awareness are the navigational tools that steer the best leaders through even the fiercest storms.

This book delves into those core components of leadership. The strength of vision refers to the creative, forward-looking, and hopeful ways an outstanding leader has of viewing the raw materials of any business opportunity. Resolve is the tenacity and self-control it takes to clear all the hurdles that are placed before any executive. And charisma refers to the intangible qualities that make a leader approachable, personable, and powerful.

The Apprentice candidates seem to be the lucky ones who are blessed with a strong natural level of optimism and resilience. They manage to turn the disappointments and setbacks of competition to their advantage, and they have gone on to do the same thing in their real-life careers. The stories about what happened to them before, during, and after the show reveal how they overcame adversity and used optimism as one of their most powerful tools. These positive qualities can be practiced and learned, and each chapter includes suggestions for building them.

When I first began my interviews with prospective candidates, I was suspicious that anyone could be so upbeat all of the time. As a clinical psychologist taught to help people overcome problems, it was slightly puzzling to me that they all had such a great outlook about life! As are most clinical psychologists, I was trained in the medical model of illness, and I wasn't as well prepared to deal with such buoyant personalities. During the selection process, I spent an hour with each applicant, getting a detailed life history. After a few accounts of "awesome" parents and idyllic childhoods, I was strangely comforted to hear that not all of them had picture-perfect experiences. As the days wore on, I heard stories of alcoholic parents, divorce, and even the loss of loved ones. This started to sound similar to the backgrounds I'd heard for so many years from clients.

The Apprentice candidates seem to be the lucky ones who are blessed with a strong natural level of optimism and resilience.

There was one remarkable difference, however: the folks applying to the show had a great outlook on life, regardless of troubles they'd had along the way. They were too busy squeezing every ounce out of life to have come to see a therapist! I would never have met any of them had they not signed up to be a part of a new phenomenon, The Apprentice.

The world of psychology is just beginning to take note of positive qualities such as optimism, resilience, and life satisfaction. The picture that is beginning to unfold is that although these positive qualities are largely inherited, nevertheless, they are also skills that can be learned. We've known for quite some time that intelligence and proneness to depression have a strong genetic component, and the same seems to be true for happiness. If one identical twin is positive and bubbly, it is likely that the other twin will have the same disposition, but if the twins are fraternal (share only half their genes), they aren't any more likely to share a cheery disposition than by chance.2

Does this mean that if you were born with a gloomy disposition you are doomed to stay that way? Not at all. It may not always come naturally, but the habits of optimistic thinking can be practiced and learned, and with time, what starts as a habit leads to a genuine attitude change. There are many techniques, proven by research, that you can use to help yourself be more optimistic, even if you tend to be a little pessimistic by nature.

It may not always come naturally, but the habits of optimistic thinking can be practiced and learned, and with time, what starts as a habit leads to a genuine attitude change.


What Are the Positive Emotions?

For many decades, the domain of therapists was largely to alleviate the suffering of those with mental illness. By focusing on these issues we've made great strides with improved medication and treatment for depression, anxiety, phobias, and attention disorders, to name just a few. Shelves of self-help books are full of sound and practical advice on easing the anguish of both the individual and the families of those struggling with problems in living. The price we have paid for this focus, however, is a scarcity of guidance about how to make life even richer. For many years that realm has been left to philosophy and religion.

In 1996, the president of the American Psychological Association at that time, Martin Seligman, called for research that would address mental health and the components of effective therapy. Since Dr. Seligman's presidency, the field of positive psychology, which addresses the positive emotions and qualities that propel us forward and add richness to our living, has blossomed into a legitimate and growing area of research with thousands of scientific studies lending credibility to its existence.

Positive emotions are those feelings that enhance our lives and give meaning and substance to both the good and the bad times we encounter in our day. This isn't the blind pursuit of hedonism or about how to numb and shelter ourselves from anything painful. Positive emotions give us an alternative to despair and, when practiced, lead to a well-earned strength of character. A short list of positive emotions includes happiness, joy, gratitude, courage, humanity, passion, and love. The positive emotions and qualities that relate to the business world include optimism, creativity, resilience, a balance between self-control and passion, emotional awareness, and sociability. Helping you to adopt these six positive qualities is the purpose of this book.

Positive emotions are those feelings that enhance our lives and give meaning and substance to both the good and the bad times we encounter in our day.

Right about now you may be thinking that this all sounds a little too Pollyanna-like for the tough-minded world of competitive business. What about some pragmatic realism here? Of course, pessimism has its place and there are some jobs that absolutely require it.3 For example, a trial attorney needs a healthy amount of worry and doubt about how hard it may be to convince a judge and a panel of jurors that her argument is a sound one. That motivates her to devote extra hours to preparation and research. But even the most cynical legal mind needs solid confidence and the positive belief that the case can ultimately be won.

The bulk of training in law school involves memorizing and practicing a certain type of logic, a new way of thinking. Reason and dispassionate logic are memorized, practiced, and driven home with an unsympathetic combination of lecture and theater. If you find yourself less than optimistic and confident in the world of business, you need to put yourself through a law school of sorts by learning a new way of thinking. Instead of ruthlessly attacking anything illogical and finding loopholes in the opponent's argument, you can learn to ruthlessly attack your own illogical thinking. In short, we can choose the way we think about things to ensure that we set ourselves up for as many opportunities as possible.

One of the most significant findings of psychology since the 1960s is that people can choose the way they think. Prior to that time, Freudian psychology dominated the field that was laden in determinism: the impressions laid down in early childhood firmly established a person's view of the world.4 It wasn't until the advent of a new branch of psychology that studied cognition and learning that psychologists began to turn their attention from the unconscious, unrecognized material of the past to a person's current and conscious thoughts in the moment.

In the past forty years we've learned a great deal about how to modify the negative and nonproductive types of thinking that impact the way we feel, the choices we make in life, and the way we affect those around us. Sometimes these habitual unhelpful beliefs can be changed by learning new ways of thinking. In other instances, only emotions can change emotions, and it is the higher order, positive emotions that will bring about lasting change.5

The bulk of this book deals with the most relevant positive qualities for the business world and how this mind-set makes the difference between a merely successful career and one that is rich and deeply satisfying. Each chapter will draw on illustrations from The Apprentice, where a quality like optimism or resilience advanced a person and kept him from being fired. Although it is television, each episode contains a wealth of information about how different personality types fare in this competition that tests for interpersonal skills and leadership ability. The end of each chapter in this book contains proven techniques and skills that can be practiced to foster better leadership.

One of the most significant findings of psychology since the 1960s is that people can choose the way they think.


Do Emotions Belong in the Workplace?

When we think about the word emotion in relation to the workplace, it conjures up unflattering images of losing control and breaking into a sweaty mess when the boss frowns and demands exact figures. Or it may bring to mind a time when a disapproving glance from a co-worker sent someone darting off to the nearest bathroom to fall apart in a moment of unflattering loss of control.

On The Apprentice there were times when tempers flared and things were said that didn't put people in their most favorable light, but this is not the same as recognizing and dealing with emotions at work. Displays of temper are frowned upon at work. Family might put up with it, but the people you work with aren't quite as forgiving when you hold your breath, stomp your feet, and sling insults at your office mate. None of these instances, however, has anything to do with using positive emotions in the work setting, and you can see why the word emotion gets a bad rap when it's associated with such erratic and unhelpful behavior. The kind of emotion that is good for business relates to an inner sense of well-being and a confident attitude that affects the way you view both the triumphs and setbacks that are part of everyday life.

When we think about the word emotion in relation to the workplace, it conjures up unflattering images of losing control and breaking into a sweaty mess when the boss frowns and demands exact figures.

Of course, different types of work are more dependent on an optimistic attitude than others, and there are those jobs where it is ill-advised to be overly positive and confident. A financial adviser needs a healthy dose of trepidation and caution, especially when dealing with your grandmother's life savings! A safety inspector should be wearing the exact opposite of rose-colored glasses when determining if the building's elevators are safe. In leadership roles, however, just the opposite is true. Most positions that involve working with, leading, managing, or supervising people, and positions that require innovative and open-minded thinking are best served by resilience, flexibility, and amiability.

Many sectors of industry thrive on creativity and vision, and as we will see in Chapter 3, creativity is directly influenced by mood and emotion. Positive feelings stimulate the types of expansive and broadened thinking that lead to innovations like Post-it Notes and Super Glue. Researchers, developers, planners, and marketers all need this expansive and open-minded type of thinking to make such pioneering leaps and bounds.

When it comes to leadership, the difference between a "boss" and a truly inspiring leader is his or her ability to stay hopeful, to motivate others, and to be flexible and resilient in times of defeat. The stories of some of our greatest and most recognizable leaders feature many examples of how they used positive emotions. Eleanor Roosevelt is a classic case of optimistic leadership at its finest. She lived through an unpredictable and unhappy childhood with a cold and distant mother, who teased her for being "ugly," and an alcoholic father who was gone for long periods of time. Even as a child, Eleanor had an inner strength that allowed her to focus on the good times she had with her parents instead of the disappointments and heartbreaks. By the time Eleanor was ten years old, both of her parents had died. Despite all the losses she suffered, she excelled in school, eventually studying abroad in England. Several years after she returned from Europe she married her fifth cousin, Franklin D. Roosevelt.

When it comes to leadership, the difference between a "boss" and a truly inspiring leader is his or her ability to stay hopeful, to motivate others, and to be flexible and resilient in times of defeat.

The same indefatigable spirit she had as a child served Eleanor Roosevelt later in her marriage, when she discovered her husband had been unfaithful. While the two of them drifted apart romantically, it only furthered her resolve to develop her own identity, and afterward she became more of a political and business partner to her husband. She devoted her life to her family, to human rights, and to social causes. She said, "You get more joy out of giving to others and should put a good deal of thought into the happiness you are able to give."6

Her compassion warmed the hearts of the country and her action inspired others to not give up hope. In 1936, four years after her husband was first elected as president, Eleanor Roosevelt gave a speech to a women's group and passed along some of the lessons she'd learned over the years: (1) Don't bear grudges; (2) Don't get discouraged too easily; and (3) Take defeat over and over again and pick up and go on.7

Through her husband's four-term presidency, Eleanor Roosevelt refused to be seen as a figurehead, insisting that she be treated instead as "plain, ordinary, Mrs. Roosevelt." When she died in 1962 at the age of seventy-eight, she left a legacy of her optimistic leadership style that had helped inspire a country though the Great Depression, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and World War II.

Through her husband's four-term presidency, Eleanor Roosevelt refused to be seen as a figurehead, insisting that she be treated instead as "plain, ordinary, Mrs. Roosevelt."

If you fast-forward to a more recent tragedy, September 11, 2001, you find another poignant example of positive qualities in leadership. Mayor Rudolph Giuliani showed that even the crustiest, hard-nosed, tough-talking politician (and former prosecutor) had the ability to give a grieving city and a grieving nation the hope that we could survive the attack on our country and on our sense of safety and security. On that terrible day while we watched our televisions in disbelief and horror, his words were a life raft in a sea of uncertainty. "Tomorrow New York is going to be here, and we're going to rebuild, and we're going to be stronger than we were before. . . . I want the people of New York to be an example to the rest of the country, and the rest of the world, that terrorism can't stop us."8

Giuliani told us what we feared the most, yet we needed to hear the compassion and sorrow in his voice when he said that the number of casualties would be "more than any of us can bear." In the weeks that followed he attended as many funerals as the day would allow and let the families and the rest of the country know that we were all in this together. Speaking to the children in one particular service, he found just the right words: "Nobody can take your father from you. . . . He is part of you. He helped make you. . . . You have something lots of children don't have. You have the absolute, certain knowledge that your dad was a great man."9

Since the attacks, Rudolph Giuliani has reflected on the qualities it took to get him through those difficult hours, and he credits both strong convictions and a basic underlying sense of optimism. "Look, in a crisis you have to be optimistic. When I said the spirit of the city would be stronger, I didn't know that. I just hoped it."10 He has also said that "You have to understand who and what you are" and draw strength from your core values to stay calm in a crisis. Giuliani's optimism, as you can imagine, isn't a Pollyanna point of view, but he has the ability to solve problems with a positive approach. "People follow solutions," he said. "If I said to you `Things are very, very bad and they're going to get worse . . . follow me,' would you?"11 He knows what many great leaders know: attitudes and emotions contain a self-fulfilling prophecy. That can-do spirit, especially in times of adversity and darkness, is the foundation that will rebuild our future and the legacy that has made our country great.

"People follow solutions," Giuliani said. "If I said to you 'Things are very, very bad and they're going to get worse . . . follow me,' would you?"

The business world has its own legendary leaders who have acknowledged the power that emotional life plays in the world of commerce. One such legend is Jesse Livermore, who's considered to be one of the greatest stock traders of all time.12 Known as the Great Bear, he understood the human element of Wall Street and made fortunes in the stock market even in the panic of 1907 and the crash of 1929. He made more than $3 million in one day in 1907, and he sold the market short and went into the Depression with $100 million in cash.

Although he had plenty to say about market timing and money management, the bulk of his advice to young speculators concerned human passion. He stressed that the stock market never changes because human nature never changes, and that it is emotion-not reason or logic-that drives the market. He was sensitive to the importance of emotional control and stated that it was the one essential factor in playing the market. He admonished would-be traders to use self-control and patience. In his early speculation days he had learned that the best strategy is to wait until the market gives you clues, signals, and hints, and not to feel rushed to act prematurely.

In stark contrast to his larger-than-life financial success, Livermore's personal life was tarnished by bouts of depression and scandal. There were opulent parties, yachts, mansions on Long Island and Palm Beach, and Park Avenue apartments, but he also had his share of troubles: three divorces, bankruptcy, and plenty of scandal. His weakness was beautiful women, and rumors of his liaisons echoed through the canyons of Wall Street. He also suffered from major depression, for which there was no treatment at the time. Although he took his own life in 1940, he'll always be remembered for the trading strategies that took him to the lofty heights he reached at the peak of his career. Positive emotions didn't play a role in his personal life, but he recognized that emotions have to be understood and harnessed before it is possible to speculate successfully. He was keenly aware of the effects of greed, fear, and hope when it comes to the psychology of the stock market, and that self-awareness led to his disciplined emotional approach that earned him his reputation as the world's greatest trader.

A more current role model of exemplary leadership is Louis Gerstner, the man who brought IBM back to the world of the living when it was headed for certain dissolution. The title of his account of the turnaround, Who Says Elephants Can't Dance? really says it all. Defeat was never an option for Gerstner, and his certainty that he could hold the company together and rebuild the leadership team was fueled by his positive attitude and his cool crisis management.

Before Gerstner arrived, most of the leadership on the inside of the company was resigned to carve the company into smaller units as IBM rapidly slid from its most profitable year ever in 1990 to a $16 billion loss by 1993. People who knew the company well were saddened by the impending demise of a true icon in the computing world, the company that led the computer revolution of the 1960s and 1970s with its invention of the mainframe. The media buzz was that IBM was finished as a force in the industry, and Bill Gates even predicted that the company would fold within seven years.

When Gerstner made the decision to leave his position as CEO at Nabisco and tackle the challenges at IBM, the prospect of saving the ailing company looked quite bleak. Early on he realized that instead of a new "vision," IBM needed to recommit to quality and to listen to their customers about delivering the performance they expected. He recognized that the human element of trust had to be reestablished if the failing company were ever to be saved. In just under a year he had managed to turn the fate of IBM around, and it was no longer sliding downhill. But now he had to ask himself if the company could ever become a leader again. The industry had moved away from IBM's strengths, and although the mainframe wasn't dead, the tide of business was rushing to individuals and small businesses, and that meant shifting from hardware to software. If they were to begin to compete in that market, the lineup of aggressive linebackers they would face would be daunting: Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, and Steve Jobs, to name a few.

Resilience is the attempt to overcome inevitable obstacles in life, and that is just what Gerstner determined to do one day while padding up and down a stretch of beach on the Florida Atlantic coast. He knew that there would be intimidating roadblocks ahead, but true to his positive nature he had the viewpoint that the challenge was what made it all the more intriguing. In that moment he determined not to be satisfied with simply bringing IBM back from the brink; he wanted to muscle it back to the top.

When Gerstner stepped down in 2002, the IBM workforce had increased by 100,000 and its stock increased in value by 800 percent. In the final analysis, he says that the most important element of transforming an institution is personal leadership and the passion of individuals. Although he says he never heard the word uttered at Harvard Business School, he has found that passion is the single most important element of personal leadership.13

Gerstner says that the most important element of transforming an institution is personal leadership and the passion of individuals.

The concept of emotion in business is nothing new, and it encompasses the management of businesses both large and small, ranging from the political arena to the high-tech sector. An executive without a warm, comfortable, personable manner will ultimately struggle and find it difficult to inspire the confidence necessary to lead people effectively. Being at ease and approachable leads to better communication, lays the groundwork for trust, and helps executives make better decisions in difficult times. Just as it takes intelligence, practice, and study to learn the technical skills of developing strategies and time management, it takes emotional intelligence, practice, and willingness to develop the deeper and more subtle skills of compelling leadership. Although there may be such a thing as a "natural born leader," it is possible to learn and implement the skills of optimism, resilience, and other positive qualities.

The leader sets the tone for the group, even though the emotional climate is a subtle mix of everyone who is a part of the team. If a leader is distant, condescending, and unapproachable, the group will be frustrated and will likely spin its wheels instead of taking efficient action. An ineffective leader struggles with expressing empathy, yet the simple act of being heard, valued, and respected is what truly inspires people to do their very best at their job.

A leader who is uncomfortable with emotions or, worse still, who is hostile and authoritarian, will accomplish the exact opposite of the desired goal when it comes to motivating people. People who have to work for a hostile leader will respond in kind. Although they may not have the power and authority to respond directly to the hostile environment, they find subtle and passive ways of expressing their anger, usually through sabotage.

Leadership does involve "hard" concepts like vision, strategic decision making, time management, and tangible results, but emotions are often neglected and they are also basic aspects of leadership. The leader is the one who everyone looks to for safety, certainty, and inspiration-qualities that are less about technique and strategy and more about charisma and warmth. Psychologists and business leaders alike are beginning to research and document the "softer" aspects of leadership as they recognize the tremendous importance of a leader's personal qualities.

A leader who is uncomfortable with emotions or, worse still, who is hostile and authoritarian, will accomplish the exact opposite of the desired goal when it comes to motivating people.

The Apprentice has proved to be a natural laboratory setting that depicts the dynamics of a work group and how individuals respond to various aspects of leadership. There are two competing groups with a different leader each week. This gives us a remarkable variety of leadership styles and group compositions to learn from. Because the candidates are living together and the stakes are so high, it is an atmosphere where emotions run wild, and the way the participants handle themselves and their relationships with each other is often predictive of their success.

Psychologists and business leaders alike are beginning to research and document the "softer" aspects of leadership.

© 2006 Liza Siegel, Ph.D.
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